How to Bring Common Sense to Xianxia World

Chapter 131: Super Bowl

“You…” The Gu clan ancestor pointed at Mo Jue. “What is your name? Where did you learn this combat technique? Is it from one of the Primordial Ruins?” he asked.

“Huff… huff… maybe… huf… maybe not. I don’t think this has anything to do with you,” Mo Jue replied defiantly, already exhausted from using the True Sky Severing Cut.

“I asked because I do not want to use soul search on you,” the Gu clan ancestor said, letting out a sigh as if pitying him. “That method could fragment your memories, and it would be troublesome for me to piece them together.”

“Too bad…”

His body suddenly vanished and reappeared in front of Mo Jue, startling him.

“You leave me no choice!”

Like the final decree of heaven itself, the Gu clan ancestor reached toward Mo Jue’s neck. At that moment, a sharp sword intent rushed toward him from one side, while powerful condensed qi formed through water-based spiritual arts surged from another angle.

“Hmph! Weak!” the Gu clan ancestor shouted with disdain.

His left hand unleashed a palm strike while his right leg swung like a blade.

Clank! Boom!

With a deafening clash of metal, the heavenly grade sword in Jian Heng’s hand shattered. The backlash crushed into his internal organs and sent him flying backward, smashing into the ruin wall once again.

The palm strike collided with the condensed water qi and Hua Zuixian’s fan, shattering the qi and tearing apart the fan, which was also a heavenly grade artifact. The backlash tore Hua Zuixian’s muscles and tendons apart.

Hua Zuixian was sent flying, blood spraying from his mouth. Both he and Jian Heng crashed to the ground, desperately trying to circulate their spiritual qi to stabilize their injuries so they could rush forward to help Mo Jue, who was now being held by the throat.

Seeing that no one stood in his way, the Gu clan ancestor reached his left hand toward Mo Jue’s head, preparing to perform soul search.

Then suddenly.

Thwack… crunch…

A violent upward force erupted from below, applied with power strong enough to score a field goal from beyond half the field. No, it was powerful enough to fold an iron plate like tissue paper.

The strike connected dead center, straight up, like a guillotine applied from below.

The impact echoed throughout the ruin like a ringing bell. The wet thwack and brutal crunch made the situation unmistakably clear.

The Gu clan ancestor, a battle-hardened cultivator who had survived countless wars even in the upper realm, had never experienced pain like this before.

Agony exploded from the very center of his body, radiating upward as his testicles were utterly crushed, driven upward and backward in an instant. The scrotal skin stretched to the point of tearing, the membranes screaming as they were compressed far beyond their limits.

His bladder, intestines, and everything vulnerable were assaulted by the pressure. It felt like a tsunami smashing into a lone, crumbling cottage.

Everything that defined him as a man, everything fragile and exposed, was destroyed in one perfect, merciless strike.

“Arggh… ugh…”

Air burst from his lungs in a strangled, high-pitched wheeze that was not quite a scream, like a crushed kettle whistle. His knees buckled as powerlessness washed over him, and his body collapsed to the ground.

Mo Jue was immediately released, but instead of relief, a deep sense of dread seized him. He quickly retreated and shielded his most precious possession. Hua Zuixian and Jian Heng did the same. Their faces showed a mixture of horror and sympathy, the shared understanding of men witnessing an unspeakable disaster.

The one who delivered this merciless strike was none other than Wei Chen.

He had combined Shadowless Reaper Step with the full power of two black holes condensed into a single leg, delivering a lightning-fast, merciless kick straight up the middle.

Perhaps this was the closest possible sensation to being kicked in the groin at the speed of light.

Fearing one strike was not enough, Wei Chen took several steps back, then sprinted forward. With his target lined up, he kicked like a professional star kicker aiming to win the championship.

…..

“Here it comes, folks! Here it comes! The hold is down! The laces are out!”

“Carter takes two steps back, one to the side… eyes locked… deep breath…”

“He swings!”

Whooosh! Booooom!

“Ooooooh! The ball is away! High, deep, perfect spiral! It’s got the distance! It’s got the height!”

The crowd roared as the ball curved beautifully through the air.

“It’s good! It’s good!”

The ball sailed through the goal as time expired.

“YESSSSSSSSS! WILLIAM CARTER NAILS THE 52 YARD FIELD GOAL AS TIME EXPIRES!”

“THE PATRIOTS WIN! THE PATRIOTS WIN THE SUPER BOWL!”

“As expected of William Carter! His miracle leg never fails!”

William was thrown into the air by his teammates, the hero who clinched the championship for his team.

….

Mo Jue, Jian Heng, and Hua Zuixian’s lips curled with dread as severe goosebumps ran through them. Somehow, they felt as if they were experiencing phantom pain in their own little brothers. All of them instinctively moved to protect their family jewels.

The Gu clan ancestor’s eyes rolled back until only the whites were visible. His mouth hung open as saliva soaked into the soil, his face turning black and green.

— Meanwhile – The Upper Realm —

Within the realm connection chambers, the room was filled with various complex formations and slots for spirit crystals. This chamber of the Gu Clan was specifically built to connect with their descendants in the lower realm.

Gu Daicang, the ancestor of the latest Gu Clan who had just ascended to the upper realm, was kneeling on the floor while clutching his family jewel. His face was black and green, and sweat soaked his forehead.

It was fortunate that the pain feedback from the puppet was only thirty percent. Otherwise, he would have already lost consciousness. He was also lucky that he immediately cut the connection the moment he received the first kick.

If he had also received the second kick, he feared that even with only thirty percent feedback, he would have become the first person from the upper realm to turn into a eunuch from pain feedback alone.

Gu Daicang gritted his teeth and tried to channel his spiritual qi to soothe the pain, but the agony from thirty percent of testicular torsion caused by a full power kick from a Void Refining Realm expert was not something he could shrug off easily.

“Arrrgrghhhh! Grrr! I will kill you! I will tear you apart! I will skin you alive! Wei Chen!!!” His scream was filled with intense anger and hatred. This was the first time in his life that he had suffered such humiliation.

He quickly popped a pill into his mouth to soothe the pain. This kind of agony was difficult to endure, even for him.

Gu Daicang looked around the chamber and realized that he needed to reestablish the connection with his descendant. He could not let this go. He absolutely could not let this go.

After the pain fully subsided, he immediately called his servants to prepare spirit crystals so he could reconnect to the lower realm.

But after hours of retrying, the connection still could not be established.

This meant two things. Either Gu Tianhe was dead, or he was no longer considered a worthy descendant.

Gu Daicang quickly left the chamber and went to the ancestral hall, where the soul tablets of his descendants were displayed.

“Huh? Gu Tianhe is still alive. Does this mean…?” Gu Daicang uttered in disbelief.

This could only mean one thing…

Gu Tianhe was no longer considered a worthy descendant…..

— Meanwhile – Lower Realm —

At the Primordial Ruin secret realm, after Wei Chen had already forced Gu Daicang back to his own realm, he was sitting in the infirmary of the Heavenly Sword Sect’s flying ark. Mo Jue, Jian Heng, and Hua Zuixian were lying down after receiving medical attention.

“So… you effectively castrated that guy, huh?” Hua Zuixian said as he looked at Wei Chen, who was sitting nearby, sipping tea from the teacup that Dream Butterfly had poured for him.

“Brother Wei… honestly, I don’t think the second kick was necessary at all. This… it was too cruel,” Jian Heng chimed in. He felt deep sympathy for his old nemesis.

“Hahahahaha! I like your cruelty, Son in Law! How about becoming my sect’s right protector? Hahahahaha!” Mo Jue laughed out loud.

Mo Xingyao let out a sigh. “Sigh. Father… Sword Leader Wang is already the sect’s right protector, remember?”

“Then kick him out!” Mo Jue immediately proposed.

“We can’t do that, Father. Please don’t joke around,” Mo Xingyao retorted.

“By the way…” Mo Jue stopped joking and then asked, “How did you know that kicking his groin would cut his connection?”

Wei Chen placed his teacup down, and Dream Butterfly poured a new one for him. He then thought back to a time when he had an emergency talk with his boss.