To ruin an Omega

Chapter 230: Powerless 1

HAZEL

The infirmary door swung open and Delta came bouncing in like a puppy who’d spotted its owner. Her smile stretched too wide, showing too many teeth.

“I’m so glad you’re alive!”

I stared at her. Really looked at her. Delta had always been beneath me. Always. She existed in my periphery the way furniture did—useful when needed, invisible when not. But now we were the same rank. Both Omegas. The word tasted like rot in my mouth.

Her enthusiasm felt wrong. Plastic of you would. Like one of those dolls with the painted-on grins that never quite reached the eyes. She stood there waiting for me to say something, anything. But all I really wanted to do was claw that smile right off her face.

Instead I pushed myself up straighter against the pillows. My body ached in places I didn’t know could ache.

“I just want some peace of mind right now.” The words came out flat. Emotionless. “Where’s my grandmother?”

Delta’s smile flickered but held. “She is spending the night. She’ll leave tomorrow.”

I nodded. Good. I would ask her about the Fia situation tomorrow morning.

“What about Baruch?”

“He’s been around.”

Of course he had been.

But he hadn’t come to see me.

I reached up and fixed a knot at my neck where the hospital gown I had under my gown had twisted funny. My fingers worked at the fabric while my mind worked at something else entirely. I needed to destress.

I needed to feel something other than this hollow rage that kept threatening to swallow me whole. Baruch’s body could provide that. His hands on my skin could make me forget, even if just for a little while, that I’d lost everything that mattered.

I swung my legs over the side of the bed. The floor felt cold under my bare feet.

“I’ll head to my room.” I looked at Delta without really seeing her. “Call him up.”

Delta’s expression shifted. Something like concern crossed her features and I hated it immediately.

“Is that smart?” Her voice went soft. Careful even. Like she has the right. “You just faced a trial and I’m sure you’re weak with exhaustion, Mistress. To have that sentinel in your bed—”

The slap cracked across her face before I’d consciously decided to move. My palm stung. Her head snapped to the side and stayed there for a heartbeat, or maybe two.

The whole infirmary went silent. Conversations died mid-word. Footsteps stopped. Even the scratch of pen on paper ceased.

But nobody said anything. Nobody moved to intervene.

Which was smart.

“I’m sorry?” I kept my voice level and controlled. “When did you become my mother?”

Delta’s hand went to her cheek. Her eyes were wide and wet but no tears fell. Not yet.

“I just thought—”

I laughed. The sound came out harsh and ugly.

“You thought. Since when did I give you that permission?” I stepped closer. She stepped back. “You are my servant and that is all. When I make a demand, you ask how high and how far. Understand?”

Delta nodded in slow rounds.

“I don’t hear you speaking.” My voice rose. “Do you fucking understand?!”

“I do, Mistress Hazel.”

I turned to leave. I even got two steps away before something in her words snagged in my brain like a burr. So I stopped.

“Wait.” I turned back. “What did you call me?”

Delta looked around the infirmary like she expected someone to help her. Like she was surprised I had more problems to pick with her. Her mouth opened and closed.

“I’m sorry, did I say something wrong?”

“When have you ever referred to me as Mistress?”

The silence stretched between us. I could see her thinking. Calculating. Trying to figure out which answer would hurt less.

“Oh.” Understanding bloomed across my chest like poison ivy. “Because I’ve been demoted by the goddess and fallen down several ranks, you think you and I walk the same lives now?”

“No.” Delta’s response came too quick. Too desperate. “Of course not. I call you that sometimes but if you’re feeling sensitive about it maybe I’ll just call you Luna. If it pleases you, of course.”

Sensitive…. This bitch just called me sensitive.

The word detonated inside my skull.

“Sensitive? I’m sensitive?”

Delta dropped to her knees so fast I heard them crack against the tile floor.

“Forgive me, Luuuunnna Hazel.”

The way she dragged out the title even if she just trying to prevent a stammer, made something in my chest twist. She was afraid. I could smell it on her, sharp and acrid. The other Omegas in the infirmary had started whispering now. Low voices that carried anyway in the too-quiet space.

I wondered what I looked like to them. A wolf without teeth? A bully desperately clinging to former glory? Someone to pity? The thoughts made me want to scream.

I ground my teeth together until my jaw ached.

“Just get me Baruch.”

Then I stormed out. I didn’t look back. I didn’t wait for her response either. My heart hammered against my ribs like it was trying to break free. My hands shook and I shoved them into the pockets of the thin robe I’d been given.

I really thought I could handle this. I thought that with time the fall from grace would sting less. That I’d adjust to being powerless. That I’d find a way to exist in this new reality where I was nothing.

But it was spectacularly bad. Worse than I’d imagined in my darkest moments lying in that hospital bed. I felt small and so weak. Like I had something to overcompensate for with every breath I took.

Two Omegas rounded the corner ahead of me. They saw me and immediately bowed. I walked past them. Then I heard the chuckle start the second my back was turned.

I stopped.

“What’s so funny?”

They looked at each other then back at me. One of them bit her lip.

“Oh, she just told me something.”

I laughed. Let them hear how it sounded. How little humor existed in it.

“Really? What did she say?” I took a step toward them. They didn’t move. “Was it about me?”