Villain: Your Heroines Were Delicious

Chapter 165: Chapter 30

The heavy oak front doors of the Kageyama household swung open with a synchronized groan and a chorus of voices that immediately shattered the quiet luxury of the foyer.

“Excuse us!” Rei’s voice led the charge, sounding more like a weary soldier returning from the front lines than a high school student.

She trudged into the hallway, still dutifully holding the lace parasol over Erina’s head despite being indoors, while balancing their bags on her shoulders.

“Boss! Thank you for having us!”

“Seijirou, we’ve arrived! We met on the entrance!”

Behind her, the rest of the retinue filed in: Renji and Sakai looking like they were entering a holy temple, and Yukina trying to prevent Emi from dropping a stack of manga that reached her chin.

The transition from the cool, silent living room to the vibrant chaos of the kitchen happened in an instant.

As the group rounded the corner, they stopped dead in their tracks, greeted by the sight of the “Kitchen Cabinet” in full swing.

“Oh, you’re finally here,” Seijirou called out from the sofa, not even turning his head as an onscreen helicopter exploded. “Leave your shoes at the genkan. If I find a single speck of dirt on the rug, Haruka will calculate your debt to the house in manual labor hours.”

“Oh, harsh. You weren’t this strict when we hang out before.”

“Oh, by the way, is Shou and Touka not here yet?”

“Nope. I thought they went ahead first?”

“…maybe they’ll catch up.”

“Everyone, welcome! Take a seat, the food’s about ready.” Suzune emerged from the kitchen, still wearing a frilly apron over her clothes, brandishing a whisk covered in cream. “We’re making a feast! Although Rindou-chan is currently trying to perform surgery on a carrot.”

“It is not surgery! Stop calling it that,” Rindou’s voice drifted out, calm and sharp. “It is proper preparation. Welcome, everyone. Please, make yourselves at home.”

The newcomers stood frozen for a beat, processing the scene.

Yukina was the first to break the silence, her nose twitching. “Is that… Yuko-san’s special beef stew? Forget the exams, I’m moving in. Emi, put the manga down, we have to help!”

“Wait,” Rei grumbled, dropping the bags and finally closing Erina’s parasol with a snap.

She glared at the apron-clad Suzune and the focused Rindou. “Why do you all look so… domestic? I turn my back for one morning and suddenly there’s a hierarchy established in the kitchen? And Erina, stop acting like a guest, go wash your hands and help, you can at least manage something simple, right?”

Erina chuckled softly, smoothing her skirt as she stepped gracefully into the room. “Ara, Rei-san, I was simply waiting for the invitation. You know I’m a very shy girl, so please be patient with me.”

“Shy my ass.” Rei rolled her eyes, not bothering to say anything more.

Erina simply chuckled.

Seijirou then sat up and turned towards Renji and Sakai, who were putting down their things, “Hey you two, go and ask Shou if he plans to come. I’ll contact Touka.”

“Oh, let me do it.” Renji took out his phone and messaged him.

[Hey, buddy, we’re all in Boss’ place. Where are you? You’re late!]

Within a few moments, a reply was sent back;

[On the way. Just doing something important]

[Huh? What are you doing?]

[Jerking off]

“You bastard!” Renji almost slammed his phone to the floor, but thankfully, he has enough self control to stop himself from doing so.

“So, what did he say?” Asked Seijirou.

“He said he’s on the way,” Renji sighed.

Seijirou nodded, “Fine. Now go and help the others and don’t slack off. Touka said that she’ll come after she finished helping out in their cafe.”

And just like that, within twenty minutes, the Kageyama kitchen had become the most densely populated square footage in the district.

The atmosphere was a chaotic symphony of harmony, if that even make sense.

Sakai and Renji had been relegated to “tasting” duties by Yuko, which mostly involved them standing in a corner and being fed small samples of appetizers.

“Renji, try this,” Sakai whispered, holding out a piece of the cake his mother had sent. “If we eat it now, we can claim we all ate it together.”

“You’re a genius, fatty,” Renji replied, muffled by a mouthful of sponge cake. “But if the Boss finds out, I’m telling him it was your idea.”

“Oh yeah? Then puke that out!”

“Urgh!? What the fuck!? Why did you punch me!?”

Meanwhile, Emi had found a spot at the kitchen island, having successfully convinced Haruka that reading manga was a form of “cognitive relaxation.”

“Haruka-chan,” Emi said, sliding a volume across the granite. “In Chapter twelve, the protagonist uses a thermal expansion trick to escape a locked room. Is the physics accurate?”

Haruka didn’t stop her rhythmic chopping, but her eyes flicked to the page for a micro-second. “The rate of expansion for that specific alloy is exaggerated by approximately 40% for dramatic effect. However, the conceptual application is sound. But before that, please do not disturb me, my efficiency has decreased dramatically.”

“Only if you accompany for reading sessions later.”

“Dictionary?”

“No! What do you think I am!? It’s manga! Manga!”

Haruka sighed, “Very well.”

“I believe we have accord,” Emi nodded, looking immensely satisfied.

Off to the side, Yukina was busy helping Yuko set the massive dining table. “Yuko-san, you really outdid yourself today! The house feels so alive. It’s a lot different from that old rundown storage house at the back of the school, isn’t it Suzune?”

“Yep! That place, no matter how much I cleaned it, simply couldn’t come close to this level.”

Yuko laughed, her eyes crinkling with genuine happiness as she looked around at the group—the bickering, the laughing, the silent studying, and the tactical cake-thievery. “Thank you, Yukina-chan, Suzune-chan.”

Truthfully, never in a million years did she think that she would actually be so much happier living as a maid and lover of a younger man than when is married.

But life really was full of surprises.

Seijirou finally stood up from the sofa, walking into the kitchen and leaning against the island.

He watched as Suzune tried to “sneak” a piece of beef only to be lightly swatted away by Rindou’s wooden spoon.

He saw Rei and Erina actually sharing a bowl of salad as they discussed the best way to tackle the history portion of the exam.

And seeing such harmonious atmosphere, he couldn’t help but let out a relieved smile as the weight of the “Rebel Council,” the “Bully Society,” and even the “Holy Church” felt miles away.

In this moment, he felt like he was no longer a man thrusts in this world, but was just a teenager surrounded by the people who made his world “real.”

“Alright, listen up,” Seijirou announced, raising his voice over the din. “We eat first. But the moment the plates are cleared, Haruka is breaking out the practice exams. If anyone gets below a 70%, they’re sleeping in the garden. Am I clear?”

“EH?!” Sakai and Renji shouted, their cake-filled joy instantly turning to ash.

“That’s unfair! I can barely get a 30 in every exams since I was born!” Renji complained.

“That’s right! That’s right! Not everyone is a genius!”

“Seijirou, you wouldn’t let me sleep outside, would you?” Suzune asked pitifully, throwing an arm around Seijirou’s neck, as she sat on his lap, twirling a finger at his chest. “If I’m outside, who would warm your bed? You can’t sleep without someone holding you, right?”

“If you score below 50 I’ll throw you outside the room while I enjoy some alone time with Yukina.”

“Hey!” Yukina exclaimed, “Don’t threaten her with a good time! Look at her, she looks like she’s about to burst!”

And true to her words, Suzune was actually breathing heavily, resting her head on his shoulder.

“Hah! I bet she was always thinking of how Seijirou was embracing Haruka and Yuko-san every night while she lays alone in her bed.”

“Emi-san, please refrain from speaking of other people’s private matters,” Haruka said, her voice as flat as ever, though she was carefully setting out a stack of paper that looked thick enough to be a novel. “If you don’t, I will make you answer all of these. Mind you, this contains all lessons that we will be having for the rest of the year.”

“What the heck?” Emi stared at it with wide eyes.

“Anyways.” Rindou walked out of the kitchen, “Food is about ready, so please be prepared to have your knowledge tested. I actually took a peek from these papers and I was impressed at how meticulous Haruka is.”

The room erupted in a mix of groans and laughter.

They did their best to try and forget about the study session, but it seems like it was already their fate.

The “Kageyama Mansion Study Camp” had officially begun, and despite the threat of the “Garden Sleepover,” nobody looked like they wanted to be anywhere else.

The harmony of this house was perfect—a rare, golden moment of peace before the next storm.