Will of chaos

Chapter 2021: Cap 2011 (Rewritten): Your only way…

Editor: The author went on a trip and left this in my hands. I have the rest of the Chapters here and I’ll fix everything. I might release one more today, which I hope will be the last mistake…

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“My little boy…” (Hana)

I don’t know what to think of her daring to call me that after everything that happened.

Part of me wanted to simply crush her soul now because of the accumulated anger of so many years, then another part tries to understand the distorted love of a woman who regrets abandoning her son.

Regardless of these feelings fighting inside me, her emotions became clear to me, her aura bathed in pure love and in her eyes was an infinite longing.

Honestly, even now I still have doubts about what I can do. I don’t know how to treat her, I don’t know what I should do with her soul. My old emotions for her are hindering my current reasoning about what to do.

Instinctively, I’m searching for flaws in her emotions through her aura, or excuses for my impulsive behavior, but all I see is love and longing when I look at her; there’s no falseness.

“You still dare to call me that?” (me)

“I… I shouldn’t have… I wanted it so much…” (Hana)

“You don’t need to try to find excuses or arguments. I saw your past, and you saw part of my previous life.” (me)

“Nothing you say now will change anything. We both died in that world. There’s no blood tie between us now; the only emotional bond, at least on my part, is anger.” (me)

“I deserve this…” (Hana)

“Yes, you deserve many things, but I’m not a God of justice. I’m a being of Chaos who has stained my hands with more blood than you’ve ever seen in your life.” (me)

“I bathed in the blood of armies, devoured living people, and tortured my captured enemies before using them in experiments.” (Me)

“I won’t judge you for your crimes when I’ve committed far worse acts, and I won’t act based on what you did in a past life; that’s a burden only you will carry.” (Me)

“…” (Hana)

You could see the surprise in her eyes when I spoke about the things I’ve done. I’m not the innocent and kind person from my previous life. I accepted the monster I’ve become a long time ago. Now I need to show her not who I was, but who I am now.

“I’m here to do something, but it would be better if you could see who I am…” (Me)

I raise a finger, and a drop of blood forms before flying to her forehead. Her eyes close, and in her head, the memories I sent her must be playing: scenes from several of my battles, how I treated enemies, the types of creatures I faced, the disasters I witnessed, and the training I underwent in Hell.

I had to wait more than 15 minutes for her Soul to stop trembling. I released her, and she remained kneeling on the ground, probably in horror at what I had shown her.

“…” (Hana)

“Are you a little more aware of your situation now?” (me)

“Yes…” (Hana)

What I showed her must have been enough for her to understand the types of enemies I have, for her to understand the scale of the battles I face, and for her to realize the risks of being near me.

Her Aura was still chaotic, but she already showed signs of Aura control. Perhaps my memories had influenced some of the potential in her Soul. Even so, it was like reading a book; her emotions, intentions, and desires were easily revealed to my eyes.

She stood up from the floor, this time not approaching me, but the desire to come to me was clear in her eyes. Even so, she sat with her legs crossed and her arms crossed in front of her chest, clearly trying to control her desires without realizing she was revealing everything.

“You didn’t want to see me, did you?” (Hana)

“No, I didn’t even look for you, not in this life nor the previous one.” (me)

“I buried all the anger, sadness, and doubt related to you a long time ago.” (me)

“I was in Hell, so it was a Demon who took me from there to use me as a bargaining chip with you?” (Hana)

“No, but you came close enough to the truth. You were given to me as compensation. Who did it doesn’t matter.” (me)

I can see her digesting the information I’m giving her, piecing together a puzzle with my answers and the memories she’s seen so far. She’s coming to terms with all of this.

“Why did you keep me close?” (Hana)

“I can understand your curiosity when you came to look into my past, but clearly you don’t want me around, do you?” (Hana)

“You’re right, I thought of many ways to get rid of you, from destroying your Soul to freeing you for the cycle of reincarnation.” (me)

“But doing that would only be running away from the emotions I buried, getting rid of the problem without solving the cause.” (me)

“Can I make a request…?” (Hana)

“You can ask for anything you want, now… whether I’ll grant your request is another matter.” (me)

“…” (Hana)

I can see the restlessness in her, her Aura is even now trying to get closer to me, her longing is just growing abnormally for a mortal Soul, it must be because of all this Demonic power within her Soul.

“I know I don’t deserve any consideration from you, but can I… can I just give you a hug…?” (Hana)

“…” (me)

I knew it would be something like this, but I couldn’t help but feel angry listening anyway. I can see the sincerity and longing she has for this simple gesture, yet I don’t want to fulfill her wish.

“…” (me)

“(An emotional tantrum won’t get me anywhere…)” (me)

Sigh

“Come…” (me)

“…” (Hana)

Tears

I stood up from the chair for the first time, extending my hand to her. Leaving her in this state will delay what I need to do, so I extended my hand to help her up.

She grabs my hand, jumping from the floor directly into my arms, her eyes filling with black tears that stream down her translucent body.

Her hug was tight and cold, her head resting on my shoulder while her aura seemed to envelop me as if she would never let go.

“Thank you… thank you… thank you…” (Hana)

Tears

I let her hug me for a few seconds, but then I pulled away. Her face had an innocent smile, her eyes were free of tears, and her aura seemed calmer now.

“Let’s end this…” (me)

“You already know who I am, you know the kind of being I am, so you must make a decision.” (me)

“…” (Hana)

“You can stay by my side from now on, but you won’t be like my mother…” (me)

“I accept, I accept right now, please let me accept!” (Hana)

She was immediately filled with joy and didn’t even let me speak before interrupting me, already accepting the first option.

“Don’t make such a quick decision, staying by my side won’t be easy for you, I don’t trust you and the process you’ll go through will destroy you before you can rebuild yourself.” (me)

“You won’t be my mother, you never will be, just like you never were.” (me)

“I don’t care about any of that, just being there, being able to see you, feel your warmth, see your smile…” (Hana)

“I don’t care about my position, even if it’s as a servant or slave, I accept!” (Hana)

“You must have seen it in my memories, but my enemies are strong. The danger of being near me could very well be worse than death.” (Me)

“Death is nothing. I’m already dead, and for me, the pain doesn’t compare to the guilt that consumed me.” (Hana)

“Hahahaha…” (Hana)

“I don’t care about the danger. In fact, it’s precisely because I know the danger that I want to be there… this time I want to be there for you… I need to be there!” (Hana)

“(She’s starting to be consumed by obsession…)” (Me)

“If that’s your decision, then let me tell you a secret. I don’t need slaves or servants. I’ll bind you using precisely that guilt that consumes you so much, my new daughter.” (Me)

That’s right, I’ll make her my daughter with my wives. I’ll use the complex she possesses and the blood ties she’ll form with my wives to bind her to us.

I will use that obsession with guilt to create a purpose that is more important than her own existence, something cruel to do, and at the same time I won’t need to keep watching her.

With time, and with her being my daughter, it will be easy to leave behind those past emotions. This will be the best option, not to mention that I will also have the addition of another strong person by my side. Being a descendant of so many Gods, there’s no way she could be born weak.

I thought a lot about this to arrive at this answer, thus fulfilling several objectives at once. I also spoke with all my wives about this and they didn’t mind, so I can proceed with the plans without problems.

“You will be reborn as my daughter and that will be your only choice, so be prepared.” (me)

“I don’t mind, actually… I’m grateful for letting me share the same blood as you once again…” (Hana)