Will of chaos

Chapter 2023: Cap 2013 (Rewritten): Giving up…?

After she was born, I let my wives keep her. She was born with their blood and power mixed within her; she was their daughter, and it was normal for a mother to want to embrace her daughter.

She was technically my daughter too, but calling her my daughter was still a struggle. She is the oldest trauma in my consciousness; my earliest negative thoughts and emotions arose because of her. It was through her that I came to understand what anger, rage, disappointment, sadness, and hatred were.

So as not to spoil my wives’ happy moment with their daughter, I retreated to my room where I tried to change this rejection I felt towards her.

I spent hours in my room trying to see her differently, to see her as the new person, what she truly was since her soul had been reborn, inheriting everything that was previously hers. This was one of the reasons I accepted her as my daughter; I thought this could put an end to these emotions, and we could start again with the roles reversed.

“Why are you here?” (me)

“It’s not easy, is it?” (Selena)

“…” (me)

Sigh

“It should be, I know it’s someone else, I know it doesn’t carry the guilt of who she used to be…” (me)

“But as soon as I looked at her…” (me)

“You superimposed the images, you knew who she was, no matter the changes that have happened, she will always have a connection with that woman who, for better or for worse, is still important to you.” (Selene)

“My wives will love her, but I don’t know if I can stop seeing her that way.” (me)

“I understand, believe me, I know what you’re going through, not for the same reasons, but I know exactly what you’re going through…” (Selene)

My mother hugs me from behind, the hug is warm and her aura is comforting, it helps to calm me down.

“I’m a selfish person, I’ve always been like that.” (Selene)

“When I found you and brought you to our universe, I didn’t do it out of compassion for you, I didn’t do it because of your Chaos power, and I didn’t do it for anything other than myself.” (Selene)

She lets go of me and sits beside me, a faint smile on her lips and a glint of nostalgia in her eyes, lost in memories that only she can see as she continues to speak.

“I wasn’t thinking about you and I didn’t know of Paradox’s existence.” (Selene)

“What I wanted was him back. I knew it was impossible; he was totally and completely destroyed to the point that even his Existential Spark was eradicated.” (Selene)

“But from the ashes he left, you were born, a new Existential Spark and a new Soul. I searched for you thinking of the impossible possibility of having him back.” (Selene)

“The man who was a father to me, the pillar that kept me alive when all I wanted was death.” (Selene)

“When you were reborn as a Leech, it was the most I could do after interfering with another universe. I’ve been constantly watching over your life and keeping a close eye on you.” (Selene)

“I saw every fight you had, I saw how you acted, I saw how you evolved, I saw how you transformed from that weak figure into a being who sees beyond good and evil.” (Selene)

She finally looks at me, placing one of her hands beside my face.

“Where he was courageous, you were impulsive…” (Selene)

“Where he was charitable, you were cunning…” (Selene)

“Where he sacrificed himself to achieve what he desired, you improvise with absurd creativity…” (Selene)

“You weren’t him, there wasn’t even a trace of him in you, and it was thinking of him that I decided on your name. I wanted you to be him… but you weren’t. I thought a lot about who you could be to me if you weren’t him, then I realized.” (Selene)

“You are my son, you are not the man who inhabits my memories.” (Selene)

“You are Zenos, my son… I saw you born, grow up, and I gave you your name. I loved you from the first moment I saw you, even if it was for the wrong reasons at first, now it’s for the right reasons, for who you are…” (Selene)

“Are you saying that with time, my feelings for her will change just as your feelings for me have changed?” (me)

“Exactly, I know you can do that. Love and hate always go hand in hand; there’s no way to hate someone who is unimportant to you.” (Selene)

“…” (me)

“Think about what I said today and observe her closely, you will see and feel the change.” (Selene)

She gets up and leaves, leaving me alone with my thoughts. It doesn’t sadden me to know how she thought of me in the beginning; she was there for me on many occasions, and I noticed how she treated me better and better over time. I finally understand the reason for that.

“My lord…?” (Samara)

“What do you want, Samara?” (me)

When I was lost in the things my mother said, trying to understand how to act and try to accept Hana being around, suddenly Samara appears in the room already kneeling. She stepped out of my shadow.

“Your new daughter wishes to see you. Lady Ibuki asked me to tell you and seek your approval.” (Samara)

“(Ibuki knows it’s difficult to keep that woman around…)” (me)

I couldn’t run away from her forever, that wasn’t the right way to deal with this matter. I needed to confront her, as well as my past feelings. Maybe the answer is to keep her around as long as possible.

“Bring her here, I want to meet her alone.” (me)

“How to order…” (Samara)

Samara melted back into my shadow. Meanwhile, I waited, already preparing for her arrival. Time seemed to pass very quickly when she entered the room.

“I thought you wouldn’t want to see me.” (Hana)

“Do you know why?” (me)

“I know. I have the memories and emotions; they’re overwhelming.” (Hana)

“You were the first person I saw when I was born, and also the only person who kept their distance.” (Hana)

“You’re not her, but still, I can’t love you…” (Me)

“You can’t love me yet…” (Hana)

Tears

She approached me, her hand tried to touch my face, but I moved away from her. That’s when she jumped on me, her arms wrapping around my neck as tears streamed down her face.

“I may not be her, but I carry everything she was, and something that remains more than anything is you.” (Hana)

“I saw it in your eyes when you left, it wasn’t hate or anger, it was something else…” (Hana)

“I’m going to make you love me, I’ll be there for you, I need you close to me…” (Hana)

“(The obsession that has taken over her isn’t acting the way I wanted, the worst has happened and it’s focused only on me…”) (me)

Using the obsession of that thing I faced didn’t result in anything good, it only amplified her emotions towards me.

I grab her arms and push her away from me, then look closely at her. Her appearance bears no resemblance to that woman, yet I still see her shadow in her eyes.

Her skin was gray, her body wasn’t thin; in fact, her body resembled that of an Olympic athlete. Patterns similar to roots and branches are all over her body like a black tattoo. Her eyes are a total darkness, with only her iris being white like a beacon in the endless darkness. Her hair is almost fluorescent red, falling to her shoulders in curls, with two modest, thin horns on her forehead.

As soon as I pushed her away, I could see her extend her arms almost reflexively towards me, but more arms of energy emerge behind her, also stretching towards me. Her anxious face soon multiplied, with two larger illusory heads forming behind her, one of which was angry and the other smiling.

“(An Asura…)” (me)

“Come to yourself!” (me)

“Huh!?” (Hana)

I realized she had lost control, her Aura was confused with possessive emotions roaring like a beast. My Aura pressed against hers and my voice impacted her Soul, making her come back to herself, her arms disappearing along with the two extra heads.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to… I don’t know how I could… I just wanted to be close…” (Hana)

She panicked when she came to, but I placed my hand on her head, letting her calm down. Even though she’s taller than me, her behavior is still somewhat childish.

“For now, go back to your mothers. There’s a lot to prepare and present to you; they’ll be happy to do it.” (me)

“But I…” (Hana)

“Tomorrow I can see you again and we can…” (me)

Ding!

<[The War Entity has given up on this Universe]>

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<[The Commerce Entity has given up on this Universe]>

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<[The Entity of Pride has relinquished this Universe]>

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<[You have been recognized as the possessor of this Universe and the winner of the dispute for this universe]>

“Huh…!!!????” (me)

“Relinquished!!!” (me)